Have you ever experienced ghosting? The two of you were chatting happily the night before, and the next day the person suddenly disappears, never replying again?
Have you ever experienced something like this — the two of you were chatting happily the night before, and the next day the person suddenly disappears, never replying again? No argument, no goodbye, not even a simple “see you”.
This kind of sudden, unexplained disappearance in romantic, friendly, or ambiguous relationships is called ghosting.
In an era where phones and social media hold our relationships together, ghosting has almost become a modern break-up culture. But why do people choose to vanish? And how do we heal from the emotional impact of being ghosted? Let’s explore this “silent exit” through ghosting psychology — and what it reveals about avoidant patterns in relationships.
Ghosting refers to one person abruptly cutting off all contact — no replies, no calls, no explanation. It occurs not only in romantic relationships but between friends, colleagues, and even family members.
According to LeFebvre et al. (2019), more than a quarter of adults have been ghosted, and around 20% admit they have done it to someone else.
In the age of online dating, relationships can be “deleted” with a tap. Blocking someone can make them vanish from your life in an instant.
Psychologists describe this as a digital avoidance strategy — in online communication, people tend to choose the easiest and least uncomfortable way to withdraw, even if it causes significant emotional pain (Timmermans & Courtois, 2018).
Ghosting reflects more than indifference. It often reveals deeper psychological patterns, especially avoidant tendencies in relationships.
Through the lens of Attachment Theory, avoidant individuals often struggle with closeness and may withdraw when intimacy increases.
Research shows that people with avoidant attachment are more likely to ghost because they fear conflict, emotional conversations, or the discomfort of ending things directly (LeFebvre et al., 2019).
For avoidant types, giving explanations or saying goodbye can feel overwhelming, so cutting contact becomes a defence mechanism that helps them escape emotional tension.
Koessler, Buxbaum, and Dailey (2019) point out that digital communication makes it easier to treat others as identities behind a screen rather than real humans with feelings.
Without face-to-face interaction, empathy reduces and accountability weakens — making disappearing feel more acceptable, even “efficient”. This environment particularly suits avoidant personalities, who prefer emotional distance.
Some people ghost to maintain control in the relationship.
Disappearing first helps them avoid the risk of rejection, allowing them to feel they are in charge of the emotional distance.
This is common among people with avoidant coping styles, who prioritise self-protection over connection.
Being ghosted is not only about losing contact — it can feel like being erased.
Studies show that the emotional pain of ghosting resembles social rejection, triggering loneliness, anxiety, and shame (Freedman et al., 2019).
Compared with a clear break-up, ghosting is often more painful because there is no closure.
You’re left questioning:
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Did something happen to them?”
This uncertainty fuels rumination and self-blame, prolonging emotional recovery.
Being ghosted may damage self-esteem and lead to doubts about one’s worthiness of love.
Freedman et al. (2019) highlight that such experiences can cause anxiety and trust issues, especially among people who already struggle with insecure or avoidant attachment patterns.
Being ghosted does not mean you’re unworthy. It simply means the other person lacked maturity — or used an avoidant coping strategy. Here are three ways to heal:
Don’t force yourself to be “fine”. Ghosting is emotionally painful, and admitting your hurt is an important first step.
Writing, speaking to trusted friends, or practising mindfulness can help release confusion and sadness.
Most ghosters cannot articulate their own behaviour — especially those with avoidant tendencies.
Psychologists emphasise that closure comes from your decision to stop waiting, not from their explanation.
Tell yourself:
“I deserve clarity and respect.”
After being ghosted, rebuilding a sense of safety and boundaries is essential.
Reflect on:
What communication patterns do you expect?
How do you want to be treated?
Connecting with emotionally reliable people helps restore trust — especially if you have been affected by past inconsistent or avoidant relationships.
Ghosting reflects a growing avoidance of emotional responsibility in modern relationships.
But healthy relationships depend on honesty, not perfect harmony.
Saying, “I don’t think we’re right for each other,” is far more respectful — to both sides — than a silent exit.
An honest ending is always more dignified and more empowering than disappearing.
Ghosting is painful, but it reveals something important —
who deserves your trust, and who doesn’t.
When someone chooses to vanish, remember:
It’s not a flaw in you. It’s a reflection of their avoidant pattern, not your worth.
You deserve to be understood, respected, and loved by someone who stays.
Before using the MindForest App:
😔 You worry someone might ghost you at any moment, so you instinctively pull back first to protect yourself.
😢 You often slip into avoidant habits — shutting down, retreating, or disappearing emotionally when things get too close.
🤯 The fear of being ghosted makes you overthink messages, tone changes, and even silence.
After practising with the MindForest App:
🌿 You begin to understand the avoidant patterns behind your reactions, instead of letting withdrawal or ghosting shape your relationships.
💬 You learn how to calm your nervous system, communicate honestly, and stay present — even when intimacy feels overwhelming.
🪞 With ForestMind AI, emotional journaling and guided psychological tools, you build secure connections and healthier boundaries.
🌱 Download MindForest App today — break the ghosting cycle, soften avoidant habits, and create relationships that feel safe and genuine.
☁️ You can also try the web version. https://my.mindforest.ai
Reference
Freedman, G., Powell, D. N., Le, B., & Williams, K. D. (2019). Ghosting and destiny: Implicit theories of relationships predict beliefs about ghosting. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(3), 905–924.
Koessler, R. B., Buxbaum, C., & Dailey, R. M. (2019). Ghosting and avoidance in modern communication: Understanding the implications of digital disappearance. Computers in Human Behavior, 98, 84–91.
LeFebvre, L. E., Allen, M., Rasner, R. D., Garstad, S., Wilms, A., & Parrish, C. (2019). Ghosting in emerging adults’ romantic relationships: The digital dissolution disappearance strategy. Imagination, Cognition and Personality, 39(2), 125–150.
Timmermans, E., & Courtois, C. (2018). From swiping to ghosting: Examining the impact of dating app use on relational communication. Computers in Human Behavior, 80, 74–80.
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