How to Get Over a Break Up in Relationship: 3 Psychology Tips to Let Go and Move on

Going through a breakup can feel overwhelming, leaving you emotionally drained and unsure of how to let go and move on. However, understanding the psychology behind healing after a breakup can help you regain control of your emotions and life. In this article, we’ll explore effective tips to help you get over a breakup. By focusing on your mental health and applying these strategies, you’ll be better equipped to move on, process the pain, and let go of the past, embracing new beginnings with confidence.

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5 Stages of Grief: The Process of Letting Go after a Breakup

Feeling pain is a natural human response. In psychology, there’s a model called the Five Stages of Grief that explains how people react to loss (Kübler-Ross, 1969). Here are the 5 Stages:

1st Stage: Denial

• Refusal to accept the reality of the situation.
• Example: Continuing to act as if the relationship hasn’t ended, such as messaging the other person.

2nd Stage: Anger

• Feeling upset and questioning why the loss occurred.
• Example: Asking, “Why did you leave me when I’ve been so good to you?”

3rd Stage: Bargaining

• Attempting to negotiate or make promises to reverse the loss.
• Example: Asking if changes could be made to restore the relationship.

4th Stage: Depression

• Realising that reconciliation is not possible, leading to emotional withdrawal and sadness
• Example: Feeling deep sadness as you accept the finality of the situation.

5th Stage: Acceptance

• Coming to terms with the loss and fully processing your emotions.
• Example: Acknowledging that the relationship is over and finding emotional closure.

There are two main things to remember about the Five Stages of Grief. First, it’s normal to move between stages. You might feel angry, then try to bargain, or feel depressed and then try again to fix things. This is all part of healing, and it’s okay to take your time. It’s okay to not feel okay. Second, these stages help us cope. For example, denial gives us a break from the pain so we can get support. The key message is: don’t blame yourself for how you feel. It’s okay to have these emotions.

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Tip 1: Mindfulness

By focusing on the present moment, mindfulness encourages us to fully acknowledge our emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them. After a breakup, it’s easy to feel stuck in past memories or worries about the future. Mindfulness helps us gently observe these thoughts and feelings without judgment (Shapiro et al., 2006), stopping us from getting caught in negative thought cycles that can slow our ability to move on.

To practice mindfulness and help move on and let go after a breakup, try these steps:

1) Pause and Breathe: Take a few deep breaths to center yourself and bring your attention to the present moment.

2) Observe Your Thoughts: Notice thoughts about the breakup without reacting or trying to change them. Simply acknowledge them.

3) Accept Your Emotions: Allow yourself to feel sadness, anger, or pain without pushing these emotions away. It’s okay to feel hurt.

Mindfulness allows us to process emotions from the breakup in a healthy way and gradually helps us let go of the past, paving the way for healing and self-growth.

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Tip 2: Self-compassion

Treating ourselves with kindness allows us to navigate the emotional pain of a breakup more gently. Instead of being harsh or critical, self-compassion encourages us to acknowledge that feeling hurt and vulnerable is normal, and improves our wellbeing (MacBeth & Gumley, 2012). This practice helps us understand that breakups are a part of life and don’t define our worth.

To practice self-compassion after a breakup, try these steps:

1) Speak Kindly to Yourself: Imagine how you would comfort a friend going through a breakup. Use the same supportive language for yourself. Offer words of reassurance like, “It’s okay to feel this way.”

2) Practice Self-Forgiveness: Let go of any blame or guilt you may feel about the breakup. Understand that relationships end for many reasons, and it’s not a reflection of your value.

3) Engage in Self-Care: Take time to do things that make you feel good, whether it’s exercising, reading, or spending time with loved ones. These activities remind you to nurture yourself.

By practising self-compassion, we create the emotional space needed to move on and let go, allowing healing to occur without added pressure or self-criticism.

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Tip 3: Journaling

Writing down our thoughts and emotions allows us to process the pain and confusion that often follow a breakup. It provides a safe space to express feelings we might not feel comfortable sharing with others (Ullrich & Lutgendorf, 2002), helping us gain clarity about what we are experiencing. Journaling also helps us track our healing journey, showing progress over time, which can motivate us to continue moving forward.

Some useful journal prompts after a breakup include:

1) What have I learned from this breakup?

2) What emotions am I feeling right now, and how can I honour them without judgment?

3) How can I practice self-care as I move on from this relationship?

4) What positive things am I looking forward to as I let go?

5) What do I need to forgive—either myself or my ex—to fully let go?

By regularly journaling, we can gradually move on and embrace new beginnings.

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Download MindForest to Help You Get Over a Breakup and Move On with Emotional Strength

Getting over a breakup and building resilience are crucial steps toward healing and finding happiness again. MindForest, an innovative AI app, offers personalized tools designed to support you through the challenges of a breakup, helping you move on and let go with emotional strength and clarity.

1) Psychology Module and Interactive Courses: These courses help you develop greater self-awareness and emotional resilience. You’ll be better equipped to move on and embrace a healthier future.

2) Supportive AI Mentor: MindForest’s AI mentor offers personalised advice and emotional support tailored to your emotional journey. Whether you need guidance on processing your feelings or practical tips on how to let go of the past, the AI mentor is there to help you.

3) Reflective Insight Journal: This feature allows you to record your feelings, daily thoughts, and experiences related to the breakup. Journaling fosters deeper reflection and helps you track your emotional progress, making it easier to let go and move on.

By using MindForest, you’ll gain the essential tools to heal from a breakup, regain emotional balance, and build the resilience needed to move on with confidence, setting the stage for new beginnings and healthy relationships in the future.

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Reference

Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying. New York, The Macmillan Company.

MacBeth, A., & Gumley, A. (2012). Exploring compassion: A meta-analysis of the association between self-compassion and psychopathology. Clinical psychology review, 32(6), 545-552.

Shapiro, S. L., Carlson, L. E., Astin, J. A., & Freedman, B. (2006). Mechanisms of mindfulness. Journal of clinical psychology, 62(3), 373-386.

Ullrich, P. M., & Lutgendorf, S. K. (2002). Journaling about stressful events: Effects of cognitive processing and emotional expression. Annals of behavioral medicine, 24(3), 244-250.

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