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Sometimes, in a team setting, we need to learn both to accept and give positive feedback, turning it into a source of psychological strength among coworkers. Some people, despite genuinely excelling in their roles, feel awkward when praised by a coworker. They might just smile and modestly respond, "Oh, it's nothing special, just the usual way of doing things."
If receiving positive feedback from a coworker makes you uncomfortable, we can learn how to accept it gracefully. Beyond just receiving, giving positive feedback is equally important. It strengthens team relationships and provides support to your coworkers.
Why do some people not feel happy when receiving positive feedback but instead feel embarrassed and immediately refute the compliment? This phenomenon can be explained starting with Carl Rogers' theory of the self. Carl Rogers believed that a person consists of several parts: one is the 'Self-Concept,' which is how you perceive yourself currently, and another is the 'Ideal Self,' which is how you ideally see yourself (Rogers, 1959). If your Self-Concept and Ideal Self significantly overlap, according to Rogers' theory, your sense of self-worth will be very high. Conversely, if there is a large gap between your Self-Concept and your Ideal Self, your self-worth will be low.
You will find that those who cannot accept positive feedback often have low self-worth. The reason is rooted in a psychological phenomenon where we prefer not to change our perceptions and behaviours. For example, if you believe yourself to be of no value and a coworker tells you that you are actually valuable, you might initially feel happy, but you will also feel uncomfortable. This discomfort arises because the new belief conflicts with your existing belief, triggering a natural defensive reaction to refute beliefs that differ from your own.
When you immediately refute positive feedback, but find it easier to accept criticism because it aligns with your low self-worth. In the long term, this may not be beneficial for your mental health or the overall team dynamics.
The psychologist Carl Jung once highlighted a profound insight: "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." Realising that your discomfort with accepting positive feedback might stem from low self-worth is an important step toward personal growth and better team dynamics.
When you recognise that your difficulty in accepting positive feedback from a coworker originates from a sense of low self-worth, acknowledging this need for appreciation is crucial. With this awareness, you can start to engage in specific behaviours that make accepting positive feedback easier.
In a workplace, when a coworker gives you positive feedback, a simple yet powerful response is to thank them sincerely and express how their recognition makes you feel valued and happy. This practice not only helps you accept positive feedback but also strengthens your relationships within the team.
In the context of teamwork, the principle of reciprocity plays a significant role (Buunk et al., 1993). Positive relationships in the workplace can be rapidly developed through mutual appreciation. When you receive positive feedback from a coworker and acknowledge it gracefully, consider reciprocating by sharing something you appreciate about them. This not only fosters a culture of giving and receiving positive feedback but also enhances team cohesion and morale.
By promoting an environment where positive feedback is openly exchanged and valued, teams can create a supportive atmosphere that encourages personal and professional growth.
Giving positive feedback is a form of psychological strength bestowed by others. Beyond learning to receive this psychological strength, it is crucial in a workplace setting to learn how to effectively convey this strength to coworkers. The exchange of positive feedback can significantly enhance team dynamics and overall morale.
The primary requirement for this is to be genuine. Positive feedback must be heartfelt. While positive feedback can serve many functional purposes, such as helping you build good relationships with those around you, people are generally sensitive to whether the positive feedback from their coworkers is genuine. Over time, insincere positive feedback can damage relationships rather than strengthen them.
If you find yourself struggling to find commendable qualities in a coworker, I suggest not resorting to forced or insincere positive feedback. Instead, cultivate an ability to see the good in things. For example, consider a coworker who is very strict and serious.
On one hand, you might feel that this boss is inconsiderate of others' feelings, which can be distressing. However, another perspective is that their demanding nature indicates they are meticulous about their work. This recognition of their professionalism can be a basis for genuine positive feedback. Rather than offering false praise, developing an eye for the positive aspects of your coworkers can lead to more authentic and supportive relationships within the team.
Effective positive feedback in the workplace needs to be specific to truly resonate with coworkers. For instance, rather than offering a generic compliment, tailoring your positive feedback can significantly enhance its impact. Imagine a scenario in your office where a coworker has just delivered a presentation. Instead of simply saying "Good job," you might say, "Your presentation was well-structured and engaging; I really appreciated how clearly you explained the complex parts."
This specificity not only makes the positive feedback more meaningful but also demonstrates that you are attentive and value your coworker's efforts. Such detailed positive feedback can boost morale and encourage a culture of meticulousness and dedication within the team.
Besides, using specific positive feedback helps in building stronger team dynamics. When coworkers feel genuinely appreciated for their specific contributions, it fosters a more collaborative and supportive work environment.
When delivering positive feedback to coworkers, it's beneficial to shift the focus from innate talents to efforts and hard work. Instead of saying, "I think you're a genius," which might inadvertently reinforce a fixed mindset, you could say, "You handled that project brilliantly. I really appreciate the hard work you put in." This approach not only provides positive feedback but also encourages a growth mindset (Dweck, 2006) among team members.
The reason behind this strategy is that positive feedback acts as a psychological reinforcement. When you commend a coworker for their hard work rather than their innate abilities, you reinforce the value of effort and persistence rather than a fixed notion of talent. This type of positive feedback helps cultivate a growth mindset, where coworkers are motivated to invest effort and embrace challenges as opportunities for development.
In the fast-paced world of business, fostering a growth mindset among your coworkers is crucial, and MindForest is your digital partner in nurturing this mindset for organisational success. Discover how MindForest can transform your team’s approach to giving and receiving positive feedback:
1) Targeted Feedback Tools: MindForest provides tools that help you articulate specific and actionable positive feedback for coworkers. It assists in pinpointing exact contributions, making positive reinforcement clear and meaningful.
2)AI-Powered Coaching: Engage with an AI coach that not only supports emotional growth but also offers practical advice on how to effectively give and receive positive feedback. These sessions aim to refine your feedback skills, ensuring that all team members feel valued and understood.
3)Automated Feedback Analysis: Through analysing team interactions, MindForest generates insightful reports that help you understand the impact of positive feedback within the team. This feature encourages deep reflection on how feedback drives growth and improves team dynamics.
Download MindForest today to start transforming your team’s culture and propel your business towards greater success with a robust growth mindset.
Accepting and giving positive feedback effectively is essential for fostering a supportive and productive workplace environment among coworkers. When giving feedback, it's crucial to be specific, sincere, and timely, focusing on particular behaviuors or achievements that contribute positively to the team. This not only reinforces good practices but also makes the coworker feel valued and understood. On the receiving end, it is important to listen actively and respond with gratitude, showing appreciation for the effort made to provide feedback. This encourages a culture of open communication and continuous improvement. By cultivating these practices, teams can build stronger relationships, boost morale, and drive collective success, ultimately creating a more dynamic and resilient organisation.
References
Buunk, B. P., Doosje, B. J., Jans, L. G. J. M., & Hopstaken, L. E. M. (1993). Perceived reciprocity, social support, and stress at work: The role of exchange and communal orientation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 65(4), 801–811.
Dweck, C. S. (2006). *Mindset: The new psychology of success.* Random House.
Rogers, C. (1959). A theory of therapy, personality and interpersonal relationships as developed in the client-centered framework. In (ed.) S. Koch, Psychology: A study of a science. Vol. 3: Formulations of the person and the social context. New York: McGraw Hill.
