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We all want to change something in our lives for the better at some point, but we might not know how to start. We might struggle with goal-setting to create a clear vision, or we might lack motivation or positive thinking to keep us on track. Sometimes our rational self overanalyses about the problems, or our emotional self feels like being too lazy to take actions. Whether you're embarking on a new career path or launching a fresh project, self-discipline is the key to reaching your objectives. To change your life, it's helpful to learn about the concept of “The Elephant and The Rider” and related psychology knowledge, which could improve your goal-setting, motivation and positive thinking, and eventually self-discipline.
Psychologist Jonathan Haidt introduced the concept of the "Elephant and the Rider" as a metaphor for the emotional and rational aspects of the human psyche . He suggests that even the most skilled rider can be led astray by an uncontrolled elephant, and even the most obedient elephant can lose its way under the direction of a rider without skill (Haidt, 2006).
In this metaphor, the "Elephant" represents the emotional part of our minds, while the "Rider" symbolizes the rational part. We rationally know the negative consequences of staying up late, but we still can't resist scrolling through our phones into the early hours, much like a rider who knows the direction but can't control the elephant straying off course.
Sometimes, we may experience a sudden surge of motivation to draft a new plan, yet find ourselves quickly sidetracked by the ping of social media notifications. At times, we might successfully avoid binge-watching TV shows, yet lack the capability in goal-setting and positive thinking to tackle the challenges awaiting us. Indeed, cultivating long-term self-discipline to change your life requires mindful practice.
Haidt believes that to change your life, you need the cooperation between the rider and elephant. It requires effective goal-setting, consistent positive thinking and strong motivation and that leads to excellent self-discipline.
One of the main reasons that you resist to change your life is uncertainty.
The Rider (our rational side) tends to overanalyze and deliberate. When the Rider doesn't know the destination or how to get there, they'll just lead the Elephant in circles. As long as the Rider adopt effective goal-setting with precise and measurable tasks, clearly knows the outcome of the change and how to implement it, the ideal future becomes much more attainable. With goal-setting in the right way, self discipline is easier to be cultivated.
However, the Rider's flaw is being influenced by negative bias. Negative bias means that negative things impact our psychological state more than positive things. For example, a celebrity might receive a hundred compliments but will dwell on the one or two negative criticisms. When facing with challenges, we often focus on the problems that prevent us from reaching our goals, ignoring the positive thinking that could help us succeed.
To direct the Rider, we can start with actions that are easier to adopt in the course of goal-setting and apply practical methods to achieve goals in our life (Find and follow the Bright Spot). Also, we must persuade our rational selves with positive thinking that the goals are achievable. Just remember, effective goal-setting and positive thinking are the keys to attaining self-discipline if you want to change your life.
You may rationally understand that you need to change your life in some sense, but your inner laziness prevents you from doing so. Haidt noticed that not everyone can make significant changes when they lack motivation, so in goal-setting, breaking down seemingly arduous tasks into smaller ones makes the changes easier (Shrink the Change).
Moreover, we need to 'move the elephant with emotion' for higher motivation, convincing ourselves emotionally of the need for change. When feeling tired during the process, imagine what life would be like after achieving the goals. How will your future look like if you change your life? Imagining the ideal outcome can strengthen our motivation to complete tasks with self-discipline.
With the Rider knowing the direction to the destination and the Elephant ready to go, the next step is to pave the way to change your life. Adjusting the environment makes behaviours that are beneficial to reaching the goal easier to perform and those that are detrimental to the goal harder to occur. For instance, someone saving money would not frequently stroll through department stores, and someone dieting would not regularly visit fast-food restaurants.
The following trilogy is a guide to improve goal-setting, motivation and positive thinking for excellent self-discipline.
Suppose you are an ordinary 9-5 worker, and your new goal is to earn more money. You might ask yourself: What does earning more money mean? Do you want to reach a monthly income of 50,000 in six months? Do you want more than two sources of income? In the course of goal-setting, break down the larger goal into smaller, clearer, measurable, and incremental sub-goals, and then plan the methods to achieve these sub-goals. Setting achievable goals is the initial step to change your life.
Suppose your short-term goal is to develop a coffee-related side business, but you find that poor English communication skills are a major barrier when starting out. Instead of exhausting yourself improving your English, focus on mastering coffee expertise. Work as a barista in a café before starting your business to hone your coffee-making skills and gain knowledge about running a restaurant. Use positive thinking to make yourself believe that every step your take in the journey is necessary and valuable to change your life for the better. In this way, we maintain motivation along the way.
To change your life, you need the right environment with the right resources. For instance, to achieve success in entrepreneurship, you need more than expertise in the field; you also need to build a network and enhance your knowledge in various areas. Think about how and where you can add value to yourself to best help you achieve your big and small goals. Meet friends in the same profession? Take courses to learn business skills? Increase other sources of income?
In short, to attain self-discipline and create changes, we need to: 1) convince the Rider with goal-setting and positive thinking to proceed with a clear and feasible plan, 2) move the Elephant to provide the motivation and determination, and 3) adjust the environment according to our goals to make the process of change smoother and easier.
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As humans, our brains function through a blend of emotion and rationality. The discomfort that comes with taking action can sometimes prevent us from reaching our goals, while at other times, overthinking can sap our motivation. It's crucial to steer both the 'elephant' (our emotional side) and the 'rider' (our rational side) to collaborate within our minds. This way, we can employ effective goal-setting techniques to maintain our motivation and cultivate positive thinking. By keeping these psychological strategies in mind, you would find it much easier to master self-discipline and change your life.
Haidt, J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis: Finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. Basic Books/Hachette Book Group.
